you ask, i answer

Here we are with another little Q&A! This time, Valentine’s Day edition! I asked you guys on the blog Instagram (@blogbymere) to ask me some Valentine’s Day related questions. So… Here it goes.

Grab a coffee.

Relax.

And get ready to read all about my silly little crushes, dramatic heartbreaks, and unqualified single-girl advice.

How to love yourself when it feels like everyone is in a relationship?

This was one of my biggest struggles for a LONG time and I would be lying if I said I’ve fully become okay with it. I used to think that if I was single then that meant something was wrong with ME. That I was unlovable, ugly, boring - the dramatic list of insecurities could go on and on. As I grew closer to God I realized these insecurities were so far from the truth. These lies, fueled by the enemy, were designed to tear me away from God. These things are not true. Being single is not a bad thing. Being single does not mean you are unlovable. Now is just not your time. Wait for a relationship that makes you feel loved, glorifies God, and helps you grow. Don’t get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. That’s not what it’s about. It took me a while to realize this especially when you start to get to the age where your friends are in serious relationships or getting married. It’s tough out here! But trust in the Lord and TRUST that His timing is best. Trust that when the time is right He will make it happen.

Isaiah 60:22 (NLT) “The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the LORD, will make it happen.”

First heartbreak story?

You guys are right to the point! SO! First heartbreak…. I am no stranger to heartbreak if you want pure honesty. Heartbreak and I go way back… Is this a good thing? Let’s pretend it is! My first real heartbreak was in high school and yeah. It hurt. It was crushing. It defeated me. It really stung and lingered for a while. The kind of heartbreak that makes you drive in silence, stare at the ceiling and despise romance movies. I don’t need to get into details about who he was or what happened, just know it sucked. I felt blindsided, but yet I saw it coming from miles away. To make it even worse I got dumped in my high school parking lot (talk about humbling). I drove home with my friends in silence then sat on the edge of my bed and wept. My mom came into my room and your classic sobbing teenage girl mess. Bless her heart for being able to comfort me in the midst of that. The next day I woke up and my dad bought me flowers. I’m very lucky to have the type of family I have because they helped put me back together. They comforted me, dried my tears, and showed me the love I was looking for. I don’t really know what else to say about this one without getting into the boring details sooooo yeah. I wish I could say I didn’t get my heart broken again after that… but I would be lying.

On a more positive note!

Tell us about your first real crush…

I was in middle school. My second year at a new school.

This was me in middle school btw…

If you went to school with me and you’re reading this… humbling. It’s not really a big secret though, everyone knew. I wish I was joking. SO! There was this boy who I had the BIGGEST crush on in middle school. I asked him what color to get my braces (you know the little colorful bands you switch out), so romantic I know. Anyways, the next day I came in with blue and pink braces bands because he said so. One day he came up to me in the hallway, and suddenly I forgot how to hold a conversation. ANOTHER TIME my mom gave me the fantastic idea to woo him with cookies… So the next day I show up to school with chocolate chip cookies for him. Turns out he started “dating” someone else that day so that was the end of my 3-week crush. Crushes are fun. They’re so pure. I miss the thrill of a good middle school crush. So giddy. So wholesome. Puppy love at its finest.  

Being alone versus being lonely

According to the internet…

Alone: having no one else present

Lonely: sad because one has no friends or company.

Being alone is a physical thing. There is no one else there physically in front of you, in the same room, around you. Being lonely is a feeling. You feel sad because there is no one seemingly there for you. Sad because you feel as if there is no one there to support you, love you or just straight up listen to you. Being single, or alone can take a toll on you. I would know. I’ve been single most of my life. Watching your friends enter new relationships can suck. I’ve been there too. Just because you are alone, does not mean that you are TRULY alone. God - the God of the universe - who knit together in your mother’s womb, will never leave you. He is with you. Through the good and the bad, He is there. You may feel alone or lonely, but you are never truly alone. God is there. Every minute, every second, He is there.

Favorite Valentine’s memory?

For some reason, Valentine's day has always been one of my favorite little “holidays.” I mean it seems to make sense, everything is pink, with lots of hearts, and of course… love letters. Regardless if I had a Valentine or not, my parents made sure to make every Valentine's day extra special. One of my favorite Valentine’s memories I have is when my parents would cook a big Valentine’s dinner. My mom would decorate the table all cute. With little candy hearts scattered across the table. We would have an assigned seat with a little card and chocolate box on our plate. There hasn’t been a Valentine’s day when my mom wouldn’t make us feel extra love. The act of making us feel special on Valentine’s day never went unnoticed by me. It taught me that it’s okay for me to not have a “Valentine” every year. That sometimes Valentine’s day can just be about loving yourself, family, and friends. Valentine’s day is a holiday for us single people too!

First Valentine?

This is a funny question because I’ve never had a TRUE Valentine. One year in high school I did have a boy get me a Valentine's gift, it didn’t last much longer than that but I guess we can count it. I really felt loved even though I knew my best friend basically picked everything out and put it together for him… It’s the thought that counts right! That’s really all I have on this question. Pathetic I know. This year I bought myself my own Valentine’s gift so… Someones gotta do it! (My mom is my forever Valentine on a real note).

How can being single be a good thing?

Guys I love being single. I’ve never been able to say this confidently until this past year. My relationship with God has never been stronger. I put all the effort I was using to “look for a boyfriend” into looking toward the Lord. I was looking in all the wrong places for love when really it was in front of me the whole time. I now can enjoy time by myself. I learned I’m actually a lot of fun to be around! Realizing that the only love I truly need is the love from the Lord was kind of a game changer… The endless longing for love, a relationship, or a boyfriend no longer consumes my mind. Yes… those things would be nice, but right now I’m loving my alone time with myself and the Lord! It hits guys! Take the time this time by yourself to pour into your passions, your friendships, and your relationship with the Lord! Enjoy time by yourself! It is so special! Most growth happens behind closed doors with yourself and God. Being single is fun! Being single can be a positive thing! Look for love in the right place - God.

What are your Valentine’s Day plans this year?

I have extra special plans for Valentine’s day. MY SECOND COLLECTION IS COMING OUT! AND! I get to see my favorite person… Lexi. PLUS for reading this far on the blog, here is a little sneak peek of a sweatshirt coming out February 14th!!!

I’m so very excited to launch these! Never in a million years did I think I would be blessed enough to come out with not only ONE but TWO collections for my blog. LITTLE BLOG COMMUNITY I LOVE YOU!

ANYWAYS! That’s it for the little Valentine’s Q&A! I hope you enjoyed reading about my silly crushes and pathetic heartbreak stories. 

I know most of this was kind of surface level deep SO If there’s one thing you get out of this, let it be this:

You are on the right path.

You are meant to be exactly who you are right now.

Slow down and appreciate this time. Appreciate the person you are right now.

God has a plan for you and WOW it will be better than you could ever imagine. 

And for all my single girlies out there... We’re in this together.

I am now your valentine.

So happy early Valentine’s Day my queens! 

You are beautiful

You are loved

I love you.

Xoxo,

Mere